Saturday, August 2, 2014

French Fry Heaven


Even in my "arts and entertainment" days, I'm not sure I ever wrote a food review. 

That said, I got so many texts, FB messages and comments about my trip to French Fry Heaven that I felt that a blog might be necessary. 

So, first the basics ... 

French Fry Heaven opened on Tejon (our version of a "downtown strip" in Colorado Springs on Friday. 

And they sell French fries. 

C'est tout. 

No burgers, no brownies, nothing else but fries. And non-alcoholic beverages. Though, let's be real, if they sold booze people might never leave this place.

This is the 20th French Fry Heaven that's been opened around the country (nearly all by franchisees) and the question everyone asks is "can you have a restaurant that just sells fries?"

I'm hear to say "if they're this good you can!"

There's two types of fries: regular and sweet potato and a plethora of combinations of what you can put on them.

You can also order them "naked," but that just seems wrong.

To be clear ... They're good enough to order naked. "Belgian fried," they're lightly crispy on the outside and yummy potato goodness on the inside. You could completely eat them plain and be happy. But why on earth would you stand in a line for 30 minutes to do that? 

Which brings me to my next point ... The line.

Out the door and down the block. And we got there before noon. It just got worse from there.

Early on in our line adventure, one of the staff brought out salt samples. We hoped they would be coming in actual fries. Nope. 

A guy actually came out with two salt containers and sprinkled the contents in your hand. 

A little weird, but I used to eat salt like that as a kid, so I was down with it. 

We got to try black truffle and bonfire salt. 

As could be expected, black truffle was amazing. Bonfire, well, tasted like licking a burned stick at a campground. 

Next, our friendly French Fry Heaven guy appeared with samples of strawberry lemonade. My friends said it was lovely. I passed and became increasingly hungry. 

After about 20 minutes, we got what we really wanted ... A fry sample. 

In this case, garlic parm. 

Amazing. Hot, garlicky and covered in parmesan that's melted rather than grated. To die for. 

By the time we got inside, we were hungry enough to order both angel (white potato) and saint (sweet potato) fries. Which pretty much translates to "savory and sweet."

Beginning with the savory.

I ordered the Canadian which is pretty much poutine in a fry wrapper cone. The purist in me wants to scoff at the fact that the Candian involved shredded mozzarella instead of curds. 

Didn't matter. The gravy was fabulous, the cheese was melty. My "lunch" went down quickly. 

My friends went with Baked Tater and Chili Cheese. 

Baked Tater is everything you'd ever want on a French fry. Bacon, ranch, cheese. It would be hard to go wrong ... And they didn't. Delicious. 

The chili cheese was also fabulous. The only downside being that, in this part of the country, folks insist on having beans in their chili. I prefer Cincy chili, but acknowledge that I'm in Colorado. Would definitely get this one again.

Onto the sweet potato fries. 

You can get everything from sugar to siracha to blueberry on the sweet potato fries. Some of which looked a little weird, but something for everyone I suppose. 

I went with the St. Mick. Sugar and cinnamon. They were pretty well coated in the stuff which I was a bit leery of. I shouldn't have been because these guys are pros and it was a great combination. Not too sweet, but clearly a "dessert fry." 

Amanda bought the Festival fries. Meant to taste like a funnel cake with sweet potato, they were covered in vanilla sauce and powdered sugar. They weren't my favorite, to be honest, but, if someone handed me a cup of them, I wouldn't turn them down either. 

After 30 minutes of waiting, I can say the fries were well worth it. And, once you finally get inside, you discover that the staff is friendly and the orders are filled super fast. Which is refreshing to see, but also means that there was no way to speed up that line. 

The only downside is that the location is super small. They claim there's less than 10 seats total. I'd guess around eight. 

It was a beautiful day, so it didn't matter, but it could get interesting when winter comes. 

Otherwise, their only misstep is that French Fry Heaven is only open until midnight on the weekends. 

One could only imagine how much money could be made if they stayed open until at least 2 because what would be better after a night at the bar than a menu full of fries? 

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