The Olympic Sports I Shouldn't Try

Every four (two?) years I watch the Olympic Games (or live them as the case may be) and I have a tendency to think "what if?"

I was never an athletic kid and I think I got a bit trapped in the typical Midwest Catholic school cycle of "if you suck at basketball, volleyball, soccer or softball, you should give up now."

But I'm a bit too old to ponder my Olympic would-be dreams for too long. 

(Though if you must know, if I got a do-over button, if have been a rower. Think about it ... Perfect, right?)

But that's no fun to blog about. 

So let's talk about the sports I see on TV and go "Oh helllllllls no" to whether I ever could have done any of the following ... 

1. Pole vault

I love watching the pole vault. It's beautiful. It's athletic. Everybody's strong, but they still fly ... 

That said ... Why would I want to fly? There's planes for that. The pure thought makes me queasy. 

And, let's be honest... I'm uncoordinated and I'd probably break my neck or die. 

2. Synchronized swimming

I grew up a pool rat. 

Love swimming. 

Right side up dammit. 

Swimming upside down? With your nose plugged? Covered in makeup and sequins? 

Nooooo thank you. It's hard as hell and I have much respect for synchronized swimmers. 

But no. I'll pass on the glitter.

3. Platform Diving

Full disclosure ... I'd be a terrible diver. Forget that I don't have the right body type ... I'd just be awkward and terrible. 

But that's not the problem.

I'd be awkward and terrible at most sports. 

A friend once tried me to go down a luge start track. I spent 40 minutes trying to get up the nerve and sitting shaking on a sled. 

(Btw ... This luge start track is in a garage. Do you know what that means? It's not that high).

I'm just a baby. 

And I can't imagine how you force yourself to jump off ledge that's three or four stories in the air. Never mind the spinning and flipping and the belly flopping that would inevitably occur ...

4. Boxing 

Being hit in the head. 'Nuff said.

5. Rhythmic Gymnastics

Realistically, I couldn't do artistic gymnastics either when I never learned how to do a cartwheel as a child. 

But combine the athleticism of artistic gymnastics with the choreography of rhythmic and my coordination level? 

You've got a poorly written SNL skit. 

Though, perhaps for another blog I really should try all of the above ... Except someone's gotta foot the bill on the insurance policy first ... 

An NBC Moment in Rio

Over the past few Games, my blogs have become an entity of their own. 

Usually funny, sometimes fuzzy ... They were a chance for me to tell the stories you don't see.

This Games I was a little hard up for topics ... For funny, goofy moments ... For inspiration I suppose. 

So my apologies. 

But my last night in Rio, one fell into my lap. 

After a day of running around from one end of the city to the other and back again, I had plans to spend my last night at USA House meeting up with friends, having a beverage or two and finally getting to burn one of the two free passes we get without spending the night working. 

I had one last interview though. Other than the logistics of getting into the village to pick up the athlete (three buses right there) and getting credentials into the broadcast building which might have involved emailing some paper offering my seventh born child's soul 96 hours in advance, this was an easy activity. 

I was in for an affiliate interview. No hard questions ... Just some hometown love for an athlete. And, bonus, we were getting dinner first so I could catch up and be social without the hustle and bustle that comes with all the running around.  

And it was easy. The local station was great to deal with, super excited to see their hometown girl. The rain was minimal. The shot looked great.

And then one of the staff said to Kat: "Hey, do you have time to take a tour around?" 

"Ummmmm, yes please" was pretty close to the reply.

And then the magic happened. 

By this point, I'd made multiple rounds of the NBC halls during what is coined as "Managing Victory." And the NBC staff is great. They run a tight ship and everything is calculated down to the minute. Britt and Jennie and crew were great to our athletes (and made sure every one of them was well fed, properly coiffed and made up), but there's not a lot of free time due to that whole, ya know, schedule thing.

But then this guy we'd never met ... Who probably had 500 things to do ... Decided to take a good 45 minutes to show a first-time Olympian around. 

You see, Kat's a women's épée fencer and they missed the medal rounds by one touch. In overtime.

Painful. 

But it also meant that this was her first time seeing the inside of the crazy circus that is NBC at the Games. 

And, while she was just supposed to swing by for a quickie interview, the staffer gave her the full red carpet. A look at the control room ... A trip to the cafeteria. Complete with desserts and McCafe. A visit to the newsroom and pix with the Buzzfeed guys. 

And then a trip to the studio itself where they had a break from taping, so the host who had interviewed several medalists previously chatted her up. The production crew had the lights pulled up for her to take pictures. The backdrop was changed because they thought the flame was a better picture. She was invited to take more pictures at the anchor desks.

The Olympian was like a kid at Christmas and the crew (who admittedly had some downtime before the evening show) loved having an athlete who was just having fun on set with no pressure and no ticking clock. 

At the end, I joked that maybe she should skip med school and go into television and Kat was on cloud nine after "one of the coolest experiences" of the Games.

The whole thing reminded me that, after all the nail biting and stress and drama that goes into this five ring circus is done, the Olympics really is a magical experience. 

And the staff at NBC may or may not have known that they made the day of an athlete who will hopefully be back on that set in four years with a medal. But, for now, she got to live it up in the Peacock Castle and knows what she's in for in Tokyo. And her PR wench got to be reminded of why we all sign on for four years of crazy. 

Friday Favorites

Since clearly I'm having another day where I'm not obsessed with sleep, let's talk about what I am loving today. 

Ranger Up Leggings

Let's just call this Instagram marketing at it's finest. 

These bad boys ended up on my feed a few weeks ago and, though they have ZERO practicality, they're kind of amazing. 

P.S. The site these are on is more than a little weird for my taste. But the leggings are so badass that I can probably get pat that. 

A Post Rio Sabattical

You know what I really want after the Olympics? Six weeks to go into hiding. Maybe bum around Italy. 

For a while I had fantasies of a week in Costa Rica (cause, let's be honest, Brazil is going to be packed with tourists and not sure I have any interest in that).

As reality sets in, I think my most practical option is going to be a long weekend in Vegas. 

But someday I would love four weeks to just go BE. 

Maybe I'll pull a Malia Obama and call it my gap month. 

My Psuedo-Gallery Wall 

In response to too many years of having my blank kitchen wall mock me, I've decided to make it something of a gallery wall. 

So I'll be hanging nine(ish) canvases on the wall with the only theme being that they have to be travel photos that are actually mine (which is painful since I'm still IN LOVE with Serge's wave photo from Brazil) and they can't involve people.

Two down, seven to go ...  

Friday Favorites

Since clearly one of my favorite things to do (sleep) isn't happening, I've decided it still counts as Friday if Saturday's sun hasn't come up yet. 

Thus my latest attempt at Friday Favorites. 

Half Marathons 

I haven't run a spring half since the Nike Women's Half Marathon in DC two years ago and realllllly need some motivation to run. But my April is a disaster and clearly I'm not in shape to do anything in March. Which leaves me with May. 

Strangely, I've never done a half marathon in Colorado (ok not really ... I run at sea level on purpose, dammit). So I'm thinking of the Colfax Half in Denver on May 15. 

If nothing else, the course loops through the Denver Zoo... How miserable could 13.1 miles possibly be if there's giraffes involved? 

Pools 

Let's talk about what I didn't do this week ... Lay by a pool. 

We did Media Summit this week in La and it was amazing and fabulous and everything else.

But I was at the Beverly Hilton for six days and didn't get to lay by the pool once. 

Why? Because I was #SoBusy? That too I suppose, but no ... I could have rearranged flights. Indeed, it's because it was 60 degrees in LA for the entire week. 

I went to a reception by the pool. I had dinner with one of my athletes by the pool. I ate s'mores by myself next to the pool when everyone had left ... But get in the pool I did not. I even bought a new swimsuit. And nope. 

So I'm obsessed both with the pool I didn't swim in and trying to get in a weekend trip to someplace where I can find sun and sparkly chlorinated water. 

Don't get me wrong ... I'd love a beach. But it's an Olympic year. That shall wait. 

In case anyone is interested in the pool I DIDN'T swim in, here it is ... All pretty and decked out for the opening night reception ... 

The Team USA Bear 

The USOC announced that they are rolling out a special edition bear in January and they held a naming contest for the fool thing to come up with Spirit. 

Other than the part where every time I hear it my head goes "We've got spirit, yes we do ... We've got spirit, how bout you?" ... It's a lovely name. 

The catch is that the damn bear is $90.

Yeah, you read that right. NINETY. 

It makes me cringe to read it. It makes me cringe to type it ... And yet that's less than a whole world of purses, so there's that. 

I have to say, though, having seen the bear firsthand this week, he's kind of amazing in person. 15" tall with a little Team USA outfit and shoes. I almost stole it about 10 times. 

Let's be honest ... I'm truly surprised nobody did steal it. 

Is it bad to be in your 30s and deciding your birthday gift to yourself is quite possibly going to be a stuffed animal? 

I mean, at least it's not a tattoo. Or a diamond. Right? 

Friday Favorites ... And New Year's

We all know how well I do with planning to blog and then, well, not ... So we'll skip past the promises.

But it is New Year's Day. And a Friday. So I'm giving Friday Favorites a go again.

Without further adieu... 

New Year's Resolutions

Do you make them? Are they work the effort? Some years I've made one. Others I've had a list of 20. One year I decided to do one a month. I think I lasted through February. 

And yet every year I'm kind of obsessed with wanting a new start and 365 days of brilliance. 

Or 366.

Maybe I need easier resolutions. Maybe I need tougher resolutions and more commitment. Maybe I need more ambition. 

Regardless ... I won't be resolving to give up procrastination so I'm giving myself until Monday 'cause, well holiday weekend. 

Suggestions are welcome. 

Electric Toothbrushes

I know. Amazon has a world full of fun toys and I'm ❤️ing a toothbrush? 

Lame, right? 

But my dentist keeps nagging me about replacing my $2 manual toothbrush with an electric one. 

So I Googled. And read reviews. 

I just figured I'd pick a toothbrush, hit the button and move on.

Except the best reviewed most popular one on the market is this bad boy ...

The Sonicare Diamondclean Professional Rechargable Toothbrush.

The damn thing has five different settings to make your teeth dance, timers for each quadrant of your mouth and is supposed to make you feel like you hair visited your dentist every morning. 

You can charge it on your laptop when you travel or in its own charging glass (yes you read that level of crazy right) when you're home. 

It's supposed to be magic. In a pretty purple package. 

And for the $189 price tag I feel like it should also brush my teeth for me and I should look like a damn Colgate model after a week. 

Anyone use this thing? Is it worth it? 

Vegas ... For a Day

It's been over a year since my last trip to Sin City and I'm going through withdrawal. 

Here's the problem ... My favorite pet of Vegas is always the pools. Which are closed in January. Bah. 

So I shall have to wait for a bit. 

But while I've been to Vegas maybe 10 times ... This time I have a plot twist. 

A friend of a friend recently did Vegas as a day trip on like a Wednesday. Which might be the most brilliant thing ever. Cause what says "screw you winter" like taking a personal day (cause calling in sick is bad), catching a 90-minute flight for $40 and spending a random Wednesday with vodka and cranberry in a Britney Bitch Cup at Mandalay Bay? 

Brilliant. You know it. 

Friday Favorites

I've seen several blogs with variations of posts regarding what folks are obsessed with this week.

So, partially in an effort to blog more often, and partially to keep track of my madness, I present my first round of Friday Favorites ...  

My New iPhone

For those who missed the tale in April, my phone hit the concrete during an event in Santiago, Chile. Yes, it had s case on. No, it didn't matter that much. 

The thing went instantly dead and I tried reallllllly hard not to have a massive meltdown in the middle of a fencing tournament. 

FIVE days later, the thing revived itself ... Albeit with a screen that was pseudo-readable because it was now tinted green and had a massive black splotch where the wiring short circuited.

But AT&T wanted $800 for an upgrade. 

So I waited for three months to get my pretty new toy which arrived yesterday. 

And I love it. The design. The feel. The very very pretty screen. The fact that everything is bigger and I can actually read text messages without picking the phone up... 

(Ok, I probably could have just adjusted my settings on the last one, but whatever  ...) 

Now I need a case. 

I'd like to be an iPhone purist who goes caseless ... I'd also like to be independently wealthy. 

I've had the Speck card case before and quite loved it ... 

The case holds between three and four cards and can completely replace a wallet if you're just looking to throw your phone in a pocket. 

But I also kind of like the idea of a clear case, a la ... The Luvvitt, 

Clearly less protection. But just look at it ... 

Buy Me Brunch

This one is KK's fault. Several months ago she sent me a link to a shirt she told me I had to buy ... 

And I did. And it's fabulous. Perhaps not quite the language one can wear to work, but it's super soft and we all know that's one of my favorite Nicole-isms. 

And now the rest keep appearing on my FB feed... Including my two new favorites ... 

BuyMeBtunch.com ... Go. Visit. Try not to become addicted. 

Stitch Fix

I'm officially obsessed. Blanchard is to blame for this one, but I broke down in June and created a Stitch Fix account and now I'm on my second box. 

The premise goes like this ... You visit Stitch Fix, answer a gazillion questions and they send you a box with five items of clothing and / or accessories. 

I was more than a little skeptical at first, but it's $20 to have each box sent to you with free shipping and free returns. That's worth it for the pure entertainment value of seeing how someone else would dress you, right? 

If you keep anything in the box, the $20 comes off your total. If you keep all five things, the box is 25% off. Which means that it essentially means you get at least one free item. 

The best part is there's almost nothing in the box that you would have picked out for yourself (pretty much because we're all creatures of habit.) 

And it's almost impossible to get a box and not love at least one item. 

Or, in my case, three in the first box.

Now the second is here and I'm still debating. Might have to post photos and let y'all weigh in ... 

But first, as a sneak peek, I present my new clutch ... Which not only is not black, but is kind of adorable.

30 Days of Being on Time ... Ish

Technically this experiment ended on July 8, so I'm a bit behind on posting my results, but I'm also on a plane with no wifi and some time to kill, so here goes ... 

Full disclosure ... The point of this experiment was to be kinder to my friends who tend to be the most frequent victims of my late tendencies. 

Except the night before this game started I realized that, if I'm going all in, I should included being to the office at or before 8. 

Hands down that was the toughest part of the experiment. 

Being a PR girl means working lots of nights and weekends and being a morning person means I've usually drug the laptop out by 5:30 or 6 as I like working when it's quiet. I also don't know what leaving the office before 6 (or 7 or 8) looks like without a happy hour date. 

All of the stacks up to me not being an 8 a.m. at my desk kind of person. Which only really bothers people who are strict "I'm in at 8, out at 5 and take my 60 minutes for lunch every day, so help me God" folks. 

But I thought I'd try it. 

I sold myself on the idea that perhaps if I was in early I really would get to run during lunch and leave the office at a sane hour. 

Perhaps this experiment would help in the oft-discussed "quest for work life balance."

Right. And perhaps hell will freeze over too. 

What I learned is that there is something to be said for coming in early. I kinda liked it. And I learned that it was doable if I pared down my to-do list and didn't start working at the house first. 

That last part means I'm not sure being in early actually meant I was getting more done at all. It just meant I was getting a comparable amount of work done with more time in an office a setting. Which means little to me, but perhaps it's worth something to someone else. 

The reality was that I still rarely took a normal lunch break and was usually still the last one out for the day. 

Then again, it was June and, with several massive events coming up, the notion of getting out at 5 (or even 6) is laughable at best. Perhaps I should try again on that notion in August when things are less crazy. 

As far as socially, I did ok. 

I got to surprise my friends by being on time frequently, though I wasn't perfect by any stretch. 

And I realized that my biggest issue is having a tendency to want to do "just one more thing" on my way out the door which is always the kiss of death. 

I also have a tendency to make time guesstimates based on highly ideal circumstances rather than reality. 

As in ...

"Oh, it will take me 10 minutes to get there."

Sure. If you don't hit any stoplights and there's no traffic and you get rock star parking.

Otherwise it's 20 and you should just accept that up front. 

I was pleased to find that time itself was my biggest problem rather than the notion others have thrown out in the blogosphere that late people are uncaring assholes who make conscious decisions that other people can wait. 

Quite the contrary. Usually whatever I was trying to cram in was for someone else or I didn't want to appear rude and cut someone off and say "sorry, gotta go or else I'm going to be late."

The question of whether I'll stick with it has yet to be answered as the past few weeks have been spent in the concrete box where there are few appointments or concepts of time beyond "get there before things start" and "music is playing, must run to medals."

But we shall see ...