Opening Ceremony Festivity

Let's be honest ... Opening Ceremony is long. Really really long. 

There's the pomp and the circumstance and the Parade of Nations.

Does anyone really sit and watch the whole thing? 

Yes and no.

In person, you always stay for the whole thing if you're not an athlete. Partially because it's amazing.  Partially because the tickets are so expensive (seriously, if you get away with $1500 for two you hit the lottery) that you must stay to make it worth it. 

But what about folks at home? Is it really worth it to spend Friday night watching hours of coverage?

Yes. Because you should make Opening Ceremony what it really is ... A celebration. 

It's not too late ... Invite your friends over for a proper time-delayed Russian party. 

As with any party, you need a theme and a dress code. 

Easy. The Olys lend themselves to both. Have your friends come as their favorite athlete or wearing their favorite piece of Games shwaggage. 

Some people don't like costumes. Tell them to get over and promise to give out gold, silver and bronze medal prizes to the winners. Bonus points if you have medals. But I've seen events where the winners get all kinds of things "and for the gold medalist ... Headphones!!!"

No really. I'm serious. Tell them they do it in fencing. It'll make you sound impressive. Unless your friends are fencers, in which case, good luck ...

Now for food ... The following is a link to amazing Russian food ideas:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/tashweenali/delicious-russian-foods-for-your-sochi-olympics-party?s=mobile

I've been to Russia. Other than caviar, I've never seen most of those foods. 

Buy some vodka and you're all good. 

I suppose you should be responsible and serve something to absorb the vodka. How about potatoes if you want to be truly lazy? Or blini if you're feeling snazzy. If all else fails, there's always 800 stroganoff recipes on Pinterest, right? 

Now there's all kinds of games you can play at an Opening Ceremony party, but it's hella cold outside and nobody named you to an Olympic Team, so why would you do that? 

Instead, here are the rules for the Opening Ceremony Drinking Game:

Disclaimer: Do not participate in this game if you're under 21; if you're driving; if you live in a place with no cabs; if you're pregnant; if you could be pregnant; if you want to be pregnant (cause nobody wants you to get weird and sentimental); if you've already been partaking in newly legal herbs in Colorado or Washington; if you've recently had your liver removed or even portions of it removed; or if you generally make poor decisions that have been known to end up involving phrases like "hookers and blow" or "mandatory sentencing." And, when I say "drinking game," in no way am I implying anything other than Coke. 

On with the rules ... 

One Drink

Any time there is a closeup of Putin

For every Russian hockey player or figure skater featured 

For every ballet or classical music reference (Drink again if you don't understand the reference)

For every country you swear you don't remember from high school map quizzes 

For the entrance of any country of your family's origin 

For every athlete you can name before the commentators do 

For every time the price tag of the Games or the Ceremony is mentioned 

One Drink and a Punch to the Appendage of Your Choice 

If you say "Ceremonies" instead of "Ceremony." 

Two Drinks

For every national outfit that makes you rethink whether you would actually march if you were an Olympian

If you wonder why random Americans are part of the talent portion of the evening 

For technical malfunctions 

Three Drinks

If those malfunctions involve any aspect of the lighting of the flame 

Finish the largest bottle in the room

If Putin appears shirtless on horseback