Are Children Property?

As so often happens after weddings, I found myself in a bar after the reception this weekend discussing current sports affairs.

Ok, maybe that doesn't happen super often, but bonus points are always awarded to weddings that end in bars. 

But I digress. 

The Adrian Peterson situation came up and someone made the comment that people find whaling on kids to be ok because "people view children as property."

I was surprised by exactly how simple and yet accurate that statement was. 

The debate over the extent to which corporal punishment is appropriate always boils down to ... "It's my kid, I'll do what I want" and "Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do to punish my child?"

People can go at it for hours about this topic, but doesn't it really just boil down to property? 

Little Bobby is mine. End of argument. 

But why kids and nothing else?

If you said "She's my girlfriend, I'll discipline her as I choose," you'd be an asshole. 

Clearly Ray Rice has already shown us that most people agree that you shouldn't hit women. 

But say that you shouldn't hit, spank, whip or whatever verb you want to use a 4-year-old and now there's an argument to be had.

People on one side will say that those who physically punish kids are child abusers.

Those on the other side complain that kids who aren't hit lack discipline and are spoiled brats. 

But why is it that children are the only things in the world you can say that about? 

Go ahead. 

Try and justify taking a belt or "switch" to your dog. 

Or cat.

Or girlfriend. (Minus the 50 Shades stuff if that's how you roll.) 

How about your employees? They're kinda like property. I mean you pay for them, right? 

What? That's ridiculous? 

But hitting a 4-year-old is ok? 

Not even if you consider your child property. Sorry folks. 

It would be nice if the level of outrage leveled at Ray Rice was directed at Adrian Peterson, but it won't happen. Not long-term. 

Michael Vick will forever be the guy who tortured dogs. 

But Peterson? This will be a wiki subhead in five years and that's all. 

Here's to hoping he's been setting aside some of his NFL paycheck for that kid's future therapy bills. 

It will definitely be needed. 

 

Is Your Adult Self Better?

It's that time of year when folks start posting about high school reunions which got me to thinking ... 

There appears to be two main schools of thought on the subject of high school.

The first is that "those were the best years of my life." 

The second is that we're all better people now than we were in high school.

And some folks subscribe to both theories. 

It comes as a big surprise to most people that I liked high school. Not in the "OMG I'm the prom queen and these are my 57 best friends" kind of way, but in a "I had friends and, though I would never do it again, I had fun and don't need therapy years later" kind of way. 

And seeing a group of high school friends is on the list of high points every time I go home. 

But people who refer to high school as "the best years of our lives" will forever freak me out. 

Not only because it wasn't that great, but because that implies that we've all maxed out. That everything else is all downhill. But shouldn't there always be a next thing you're looking forward to that's going to be amazing? Whether it's having kids or getting rid of your kids or going to some new country, isn't that the point of it all is that the next best thing could be right around the corner? 

And while I'm rambling, here's another one I'm stuck on ... 

Have we all actually changed since high school? Clearly we have (hopefully) in some way, shape or form. But are we really that different? 

Everyone likes to believe that we're all different 15 it 20 years later, but is that actually true or is it just that our stories change, but we're still fundamentally the same, personality-wise as when we were 15, 10 or, as some research implies, five?

There's no real answer to this question, so I'll just let my five blog readers ponder that ... 

French Fry Heaven

Even in my "arts and entertainment" days, I'm not sure I ever wrote a food review. 

That said, I got so many texts, FB messages and comments about my trip to French Fry Heaven that I felt that a blog might be necessary. 

So, first the basics ... 

French Fry Heaven opened on Tejon (our version of a "downtown strip" in Colorado Springs on Friday. 

And they sell French fries. 

C'est tout. 

No burgers, no brownies, nothing else but fries. And non-alcoholic beverages. Though, let's be real, if they sold booze people might never leave this place.

This is the 20th French Fry Heaven that's been opened around the country (nearly all by franchisees) and the question everyone asks is "can you have a restaurant that just sells fries?"

I'm hear to say "if they're this good you can!"

There's two types of fries: regular and sweet potato and a plethora of combinations of what you can put on them.

You can also order them "naked," but that just seems wrong.

To be clear ... They're good enough to order naked. "Belgian fried," they're lightly crispy on the outside and yummy potato goodness on the inside. You could completely eat them plain and be happy. But why on earth would you stand in a line for 30 minutes to do that? 

Which brings me to my next point ... The line.

Out the door and down the block. And we got there before noon. It just got worse from there.

Early on in our line adventure, one of the staff brought out salt samples. We hoped they would be coming in actual fries. Nope. 

A guy actually came out with two salt containers and sprinkled the contents in your hand. 

A little weird, but I used to eat salt like that as a kid, so I was down with it. 

We got to try black truffle and bonfire salt. 

As could be expected, black truffle was amazing. Bonfire, well, tasted like licking a burned stick at a campground. 

Next, our friendly French Fry Heaven guy appeared with samples of strawberry lemonade. My friends said it was lovely. I passed and became increasingly hungry. 

After about 20 minutes, we got what we really wanted ... A fry sample. 

In this case, garlic parm. 

Amazing. Hot, garlicky and covered in parmesan that's melted rather than grated. To die for. 

By the time we got inside, we were hungry enough to order both angel (white potato) and saint (sweet potato) fries. Which pretty much translates to "savory and sweet."

Beginning with the savory.

I ordered the Canadian which is pretty much poutine in a fry wrapper cone. The purist in me wants to scoff at the fact that the Candian involved shredded mozzarella instead of curds. 

Didn't matter. The gravy was fabulous, the cheese was melty. My "lunch" went down quickly. 

My friends went with Baked Tater and Chili Cheese. 

Baked Tater is everything you'd ever want on a French fry. Bacon, ranch, cheese. It would be hard to go wrong ... And they didn't. Delicious. 

The chili cheese was also fabulous. The only downside being that, in this part of the country, folks insist on having beans in their chili. I prefer Cincy chili, but acknowledge that I'm in Colorado. Would definitely get this one again.

Onto the sweet potato fries. 

You can get everything from sugar to siracha to blueberry on the sweet potato fries. Some of which looked a little weird, but something for everyone I suppose. 

I went with the St. Mick. Sugar and cinnamon. They were pretty well coated in the stuff which I was a bit leery of. I shouldn't have been because these guys are pros and it was a great combination. Not too sweet, but clearly a "dessert fry." 

Amanda bought the Festival fries. Meant to taste like a funnel cake with sweet potato, they were covered in vanilla sauce and powdered sugar. They weren't my favorite, to be honest, but, if someone handed me a cup of them, I wouldn't turn them down either. 

After 30 minutes of waiting, I can say the fries were well worth it. And, once you finally get inside, you discover that the staff is friendly and the orders are filled super fast. Which is refreshing to see, but also means that there was no way to speed up that line. 

The only downside is that the location is super small. They claim there's less than 10 seats total. I'd guess around eight. 

It was a beautiful day, so it didn't matter, but it could get interesting when winter comes. 

Otherwise, their only misstep is that French Fry Heaven is only open until midnight on the weekends. 

One could only imagine how much money could be made if they stayed open until at least 2 because what would be better after a night at the bar than a menu full of fries? 

Cookies and the Single Girl

Recently, I had a friend tell me that I don't keep a schedule conducive to either dating or relationships.

Ouch. 

I get that I probably can't pull off a dog or, well, a plant, but a boy? Now now ... Tons of people in Oly land have functional relationships. Ok, tons may be overshooting it a bit and "functional" is a matter of perception, but you catch my drift. 

And I often vehemently argue this concept with folks.

But every once in awhile, I realize that there are parts of my life that may not fly well with other people.

Such as, for example, last night  when I flew home from DC (via, um, Dayton and Dallas). My plane was late, my luggage was gone and I had spent my entire day being sick and miserable on one plane after another. 

It's times like that when I realize that I'm not sure you can get away with coming home at damn near midnight,  launching your bag on the floor, ransacking your medicine cabinet, taking shots of Benadryl to chase the expired Advil and prednisone you found somewhere and crashing into bed. Better still, not crashing because you're going to sleep. Nope, hopping into bed so you can eat a leftover airport cookie for "dinner" and begin feuding with yahoos in your inbox. 

If you didn't get a few weird looks for that, the person on the other side of the bed might be displeased when the alarm goes off before 5 because waking up before dawn to do work is more pleasant than pulling an all-nighter. 

And, if a cookie for dinner isn't bad enough, spaghetti for breakfast with a laptop in the couch is also high quality eating.

But, hey, everybody's got their quirks ... Is it eharmony where they ask all of the weird questions? Maybe I could sign up and ask for new ones to be added like "how high is your tolerance for mild chaos?" Or "Are you a heavy sleeper?" Or "Have you ever dated someone who has chunks of the year where she spends more time in transit to or from concrete boxes than she does in her own house?"

Wait ... Suddenly this sounds like a bad idea as  might be afraid of dating someone whose ex was a fan of concrete boxes ... Either my kind or any creepy variation. 

It was a good thought, though! 

All About the Track

Sadly, I spent this morning's women's bobsled runs on a train to the airport, so couldn't watch it live and didn't see the first two runs of the event until I got home.

But I followed the action via iPhone and have to say that I couldn't be happier for Lauryn Williams for two reasons.

First, by all accounts, she's known as being one of the nicest athletes in track and field. Like anything else, Oly sports has tons of fabulous, amazingly sweet athletes. And a couple divas. 

It's no different than every aspect of life from freshman soccer in high school to any office in America. We all want to root for nice people and Lauryn is it. Better still, I made the interview rounds a couple times with driver Elana Meyers in Vancouver and she's also one you've gotta like. 

But, more to the point, I'm pleased to finally see Lauryn get some credit. 

Admittedly, the notion of winning gold at the end of your first season is just crazy, and I feel bad for athletes who committed years of work to the sport and didn't make the cut. 

But I also feel bad for Lauryn and the rest of the athletes who've spent all season taking a backseat to the Lolo Show. 

There's a lot of people who will say that Lolo got her position on the team because she's a media magnet. I can't imagine that's true and she does have both solid results and a damn good work ethic, so I'm not questioning her place on the team. 

What grates on my nerves, though, is the constant Lolo coverage. I think there was this concept that Lolo would bring the sport more media attention and I suppose it did, but was there a trickle down effect for her teammates? If anything, one could argue that they got less coverage as individuals. 

Take the official team announcement on the Today Show several weeks ago. It was probably a five or six minute segment on Lolo with a live interview and cutaway features which is awesome. 

But the only time her teammates came into play was 10 seconds at the end where she introduced them and they waved in the background. 

And it's a stacked group. The former USA 1 included Meyers who is a returning bronze medalist and Aja Evans who is simply a badass brakeman who was quite possibly the best in the world coming into Sochu

Driver Jamie Gruebel has won four medals on the circuit this season.

And if we want to talk track cred, Lauryn holds a silver and a gold from the Summer Games. 

Which you would think would be more impressive than knocking over a hurdle in Beijing. 

Apparently not. 

But today's coverage made me happy for Lauryn and Elana. They're leading after two heats and the chatter has begun about whether Lauryn could become the second U.S. Olympian to win both summer and winter gold. 

The talk has returned to what it should be: results. 

Elana and Lauryn are in first, Jamie and Aja are in third. 

Anything can happen, but hopefully anything involves a cluster of Americans on the podium and the Star-Spangled Banner playing in the background and those at the top will finally get a proper place in the spotlight. 

Nordic Combined ... The Best Olympic Sport You're Probably Not Watching

It's 4:45 in the morning and I'm curled up on the couch, remote in hand waiting to watch a sport most Americans have never heard of ... Nor can they tell you what on earth Nordic combined actually is.

Let's be real ... Until 2010, I couldn't tell you what Nordic combined was either. 

And then Team USA tuore it up. 

Johnny Spillane won silver and ended up in our condo, having a beer and borrowing a belt while we waited for the medal ceremony. 

Billy Demong and Johnny went 1-2 in the large hill and Team USA won silver in the team event.

Somehow the Americans went from having never won an Olympic medal to being at the top of the country standings with four -- three silver and a gold.

And during all of that, I fell in love with both the sport and a team of athletes who couldn't have been nicer, more down-to-earth and, most importantly for a PR girl, media friendly. 

Two of whom (Billy and Todd Lodwick who was named flag bearer at his sixth Olympic Games at 37 years old) are back for another go at it. 

As I wait for the cross country portion, I figured I'd give my five blog readers a look at why you should be watching Nordic combined ... And don't worry, there's still two events left. The Long Hill is on the 18th and team competition is on the 20th. 

First of all, it's one of the most spectator-friendly events of the Winter Games. It's easy really. First 40some athletes go flying off a hill. One by one with the best skiers at the end. Everyone gets one shot at it and you bomb down this ridiculous hill and fly through the air. 

It looks crazy on TV. It's worse in person. The "normal hill" isn't my definition of "normal" at all. They really should be named "Hella High Hill" and "Masochistic Mountain." 

But people do it and it's amazing to watch folks fly through the air over the distance of a football field in the normal hill and a field and a half for the large hill. 

You're scored based on two main things: distance (how far you go) and judge points (what a group of folks in suits thinks of how you looked while you did it). And then there's an adjustment for wind to make things fair. 

Sounds complicated, but it books down to "fly far, don't flail, land clean." 

After the jump, there's a break while everyone trudges over to the cross country course. 

Cross country doesn't sound spectator friendly, but it really is. Unlike alpine where athletes go down a mountain and are racing a clock, in cross country, you're racing actual people. Your start is determined by your score in the jump and every 15 points back equals a minute behind the leader at the start which is run in pursuit format. 

And then they're off. They start in a stadium, loop through the woods (all of which can be seen on massive screens) and then they loop back through the stadium, back into the woods and so it goes for 10km at which point there's a frantic race to the finish and then bodies splayed all over the snow. Literally. It's like "cross the finish line, ski forward just far enough to not be a speed bump and fall over." Eventually you'll get up and celebrate or commiserate with your teammates, but first you must enjoy the snow in a fashion that looks something like this ...

People use cliches like "leave it all out there" and "put everything on the line." Yeah, that's what that looks like. 

Set your DVRs and early morning alarms now ... They're back at it in less than a week. 

Opening Ceremony Festivity

Let's be honest ... Opening Ceremony is long. Really really long. 

There's the pomp and the circumstance and the Parade of Nations.

Does anyone really sit and watch the whole thing? 

Yes and no.

In person, you always stay for the whole thing if you're not an athlete. Partially because it's amazing.  Partially because the tickets are so expensive (seriously, if you get away with $1500 for two you hit the lottery) that you must stay to make it worth it. 

But what about folks at home? Is it really worth it to spend Friday night watching hours of coverage?

Yes. Because you should make Opening Ceremony what it really is ... A celebration. 

It's not too late ... Invite your friends over for a proper time-delayed Russian party. 

As with any party, you need a theme and a dress code. 

Easy. The Olys lend themselves to both. Have your friends come as their favorite athlete or wearing their favorite piece of Games shwaggage. 

Some people don't like costumes. Tell them to get over and promise to give out gold, silver and bronze medal prizes to the winners. Bonus points if you have medals. But I've seen events where the winners get all kinds of things "and for the gold medalist ... Headphones!!!"

No really. I'm serious. Tell them they do it in fencing. It'll make you sound impressive. Unless your friends are fencers, in which case, good luck ...

Now for food ... The following is a link to amazing Russian food ideas:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/tashweenali/delicious-russian-foods-for-your-sochi-olympics-party?s=mobile

I've been to Russia. Other than caviar, I've never seen most of those foods. 

Buy some vodka and you're all good. 

I suppose you should be responsible and serve something to absorb the vodka. How about potatoes if you want to be truly lazy? Or blini if you're feeling snazzy. If all else fails, there's always 800 stroganoff recipes on Pinterest, right? 

Now there's all kinds of games you can play at an Opening Ceremony party, but it's hella cold outside and nobody named you to an Olympic Team, so why would you do that? 

Instead, here are the rules for the Opening Ceremony Drinking Game:

Disclaimer: Do not participate in this game if you're under 21; if you're driving; if you live in a place with no cabs; if you're pregnant; if you could be pregnant; if you want to be pregnant (cause nobody wants you to get weird and sentimental); if you've already been partaking in newly legal herbs in Colorado or Washington; if you've recently had your liver removed or even portions of it removed; or if you generally make poor decisions that have been known to end up involving phrases like "hookers and blow" or "mandatory sentencing." And, when I say "drinking game," in no way am I implying anything other than Coke. 

On with the rules ... 

One Drink

Any time there is a closeup of Putin

For every Russian hockey player or figure skater featured 

For every ballet or classical music reference (Drink again if you don't understand the reference)

For every country you swear you don't remember from high school map quizzes 

For the entrance of any country of your family's origin 

For every athlete you can name before the commentators do 

For every time the price tag of the Games or the Ceremony is mentioned 

One Drink and a Punch to the Appendage of Your Choice 

If you say "Ceremonies" instead of "Ceremony." 

Two Drinks

For every national outfit that makes you rethink whether you would actually march if you were an Olympian

If you wonder why random Americans are part of the talent portion of the evening 

For technical malfunctions 

Three Drinks

If those malfunctions involve any aspect of the lighting of the flame 

Finish the largest bottle in the room

If Putin appears shirtless on horseback 

Aren't You Glad?

During the past week, I've gotten emails, texts, Facebook messages and phone calls all with a variation of the same message ...

"Aren't you glad you're not in Sochi?"

They've come with links to stories and photos from hotels, but the sentiment is all the same ... 

"Wow, it looks crazy. Aren't you glad you're home?"

No.

My replies are always varied, but it's so hard to explain that the answer is no. 

It's not because I haven't seen the latest on Twitter or Instagram or the Washington Post. 

It's that I've watched the Olympic Games for as long as I can remember. As an adult, the Games have been a dream, a fantasy, a reality and a paycheck all rolled into one. 

Some are better than others. 

But they're all still amazing.

And I would never turn down an opportunity to work another. 

Unfortunately, this will be the first time I've been home for the Games since 2006 and the second time since college that I haven't gone to either an Oly or a Para. But I work for a summer sport and there's competitions to be had stateside, so no Sochi for me. 

Instead, I'll watch it all on TV ... And the internet. And on Facebook and Twitter. 

For someone who watched every moment I could as a child, who probably still has clippings of the Mag Seven and video (yup, VHS) of the 2000 Swimming Trials, the 1,000 hours of coverage will put me in Oly nerd heaven. 

In theory anyway. 

Because, no matter what the water in the hotels looks like or how crazy the bus routes are or whatever it is that is causing chatter today, I'll always wish I was there. 

You see, those things aren't what this is all about. 

Though, let's be real, my condo in Whistler circa 2010 was pretty sweet.  :)

It's about the athletes and their journeys.

It's about being there to watch dreams come true. 

And also being there when hearts are broken. 

It's about helping to tell the story in whatever way of athletes who may be household names or may be from sports people can't spell, define or explain. 

Fabulous locales are always nice, but some of my favorite trips have involved terrible dorm rooms, food that's borderline unidentifiable, sweltering heat or nightly freezing drizzle in the one pair of snow pants you own. 

And we all know food doesn't matter since PR people just eat whatever you can throw in a backpack anyway. Hahaha ... Sigh. 

So, no, I'm not happy I'm not there. 

But this is the Olympic Games and I am excited to cheer on Team USA from my couch ... Or office ... Or sports bar ... Or while playing figure skating drinking games. 

I'll happily watch curling (for more than the Norwegian pants), figure skating (cause I'm a diehard!), Nordic combined (best spectator mountain sport of the Games, I'm telling you) or whatever happens to be on.

And, as we get ready to begin the fun in the next few hours, I hope that everyone remembers to take a break from all the Sochi Shenanigans postings to return the Games themselves. 

I promise the athletes will make it worth it.